Whenever the word “road trip” pops up, I immediately think about my friends and me hitting the road in a cool AF car.
When you're roadtripping with parents, though, you have to behave yourself.
A family roadtrip has certain rules, if you're the offspring:
Let your Dad take whatever route he wants, kyunki baap baap hota hai.
Fathers are touchy about directions.
And don't even try to bring up Google Maps is. They’ll just shun this new technology-wechnology that today’s kids have come to depend on.
Also, he changed your diapers, ok? So, don’t you dare correct him!
Make sure you take a great car.
Spending hours in close quarters with family is grounds for stress and squabbling, no matter how well-adjusted you all are.
So no matter how much your Dad loves his old Maruti or his friend’s fiat Padmini, they are not cut out for road trips.
Get him to rent some kickass, roomy wheels from Zoomcar.
You can put your Dad up to it by promising that you won't go over 100 kmph and that he’ll get to drive on the best highways.
It’s better if your playlist remains a secret to your family. A.k.a bring earphones.
You may enjoy a guilty pleasure song like Chaar Bottle Vodka, but your parents will immediately assume that you’ve become an alcoholic.
For music that the whole family can enjoy, don't go too modern. Your parents will just chide you for not understanding Kishore da and Rafi saab, the “real gems of the music industry.”
Just sit back, and let 70s Bollywood music seep into your soul.
Be prepared for one or two or a 100 questions about your career.
Is a family outing possible without the inevitable “What are you going to do with your life?”-type questions?
You might develop the irresistible urge to roll down the windows of your cool car and jump out. But take it from me, it’s always better to answer (even if you have to make up some shit), so they'll stop asking.
I remember, once during an exceptionally long road trip, my Dad talked about his early service days. He went on and on about how he used to earn only Rs 700 a month, but still supported his mother and wife.
My brother and I just sat there pretending to be overwhelmed by this information.
Watch in disbelief as your mom packs a year’s worth of snacks, but say nothing.
You’ll appreciate your decision to take a Zoomcar solely for this purpose, trust me. You're going to need the space for what your mom is going to do.
Indian mothers are usually advanced thinkers. They pack food like they’re preparing for an apocalypse. There will be a water carrier, a big tiffin box with all the homemade food, and a bag full of her snacks.
You will feel like telling her to calm down. But one hour into the trip, it's you who’s going to be covered in homemade pakora crumbs, I guarantee it.
The best way to get around it is to finish whatever your mother’s brought ASAP and then coax them into stopping at the highway Punjabi dhaba you were planning on bingeing at.
A roadtrip with your parents can go two ways. Either you will come back with happy memories or you’ll have to sit through a drama that’ll run longer than K3G.